Understanding the difference between love and pain

A video showing NFL player Ray Rice violently punching his fiancé captured the news media, as did the scandal around the League's lenient and ambiguous reaction to his crime. But despite exhaustive news coverage, clear messages about domestic violence are hard to come by. Victims often stay with their abusers, and authorities keep a distance, citing "private matters." A complicated reality is obscured by the stark video: the violence runs deeper than flesh, and abusers take aim at their partners' self-esteem. For young people without experience in a healthy relationship, abuse from a romantic partner can disguise the difference between what love feels like, and what hurt feels like. "I was young and in love. I never left, even after being put in the hospital, because I thought that was what love was. My boyfriend would promise to change and never hurt me again, while also saying that even if I left, no one would want me." Elizabeth Mutate recalls the moment when she knew she had to leave an abusive boyfriend, on Youth Radio.