Zero Social Skills After COVID-19

Photo credit: Getty Images/Elva Etienne

March 13, 2020: that was the day the world stopped. It was the first time COVID-19 felt real. Everything was so sudden; it was jarring, it was scary. But at the start when it was all still so new, it didn’t feel permanent.

What started as a couple of weeks turned into a couple of months, and now, two years later, we’re still trying to get through COVID-19 and things are more uncertain than ever.

The lockdown was long and exhausting for all. Many struggled to stay afloat and continue to struggle with no end in sight. But at this stage in the pandemic, many have struggled in new ways.

As people returned to school, work and whatever else normal life may look like, many found it difficult to socialize and be around other people again. To be frank, people’s social skills were obliterated over lockdown, and it doesn’t end there.

A lot of people experienced intense declines in their mental health during quarantine and felt more anxious, depressed and exhausted after being around others. Now that the world is trying to return to “normal,” many don’t feel ready.

Illustration Credit: Ashens Limon

Before the lockdown was lifted, most knew it would be hard being around others again. Doing things in-person again was extremely difficult; people were anxious around others, and didn't know how to interact with each other anymore.

Fresno City College freshman Stephanie Gonzalez, 18, felt as though she had zero social skills left after lockdown.

“Now that we’re going back to doing things in person, it’s extremely nerve-wracking,” Gonzalez said. “I feel uneasy about any social settings now.”

Gonzalez struggled to get through her first semester of college because of the anxiety she felt being around her fellow students.

“To be honest, I don’t know how to act or what to say to people anymore,” she admitted. “It’s been difficult going into college like that expecting much success; I’ve let myself fail assignments because it’s so hard to speak to people in my classes.” 

Gonzalez was not alone. Many students who started going to school in person again found out how much more exhausting it can be.

Ashens Limon, 17, went back to in-person classes when schools reopened in August 2021. One month later, Limon transitioned back to online classes to finish senior year.

Since the lockdown, Limon had taken on a lot of responsibility by helping out with his younger siblings.

“They’ve relied on me a lot since the lockdown began, more than our mom even,” Limon said. “It’s super hard keeping up with it all.”

With schools and daycares closed down, Limon was responsible for them. Limon made their food, helped with their schoolwork and just made sure they felt okay through it all.

“I spent so long just worrying about my family, looking after my siblings and trying to get through the pandemic, I don’t really know how to be normal around other people again,” Limon continued. “Being around [people] is super draining, especially in school. I felt drained just being around my friends for a couple of hours,” prompting him to make the move to switch back to online learning. 

Gonzalez and Limon are only a few examples of how the pandemic impacted society. Countless people have felt their mental health decline dramatically across the country.

According to the COVID-19 and Life Stressors Impact on Mental Health and Well-being study (CLIMB), 8.5% of the participants surveyed had depressive symptoms before COVID-19 and 27.8% had depressive symptoms during the pandemic in April 2020. In the most recent CLIMB study, it revealed that the number had grown to 32.8% in April 2021.

The study also showed that lower-income communities, where COVID-related stressors such as job loss and housing instability were more common, experienced higher rates of mental health issues. But despite the survey showing that people experienced fewer stressors in 2021, mental health issues grew. 

Youth mental health in the country especially took a hit. For a long time, young people have struggled with their mental health, and the pandemic only exacerbated this.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) reported that since the start of the pandemic, there was a dramatic rise in visits to emergency departments for all sorts of mental health emergencies, including suspected suicide attempts. The decline in youth mental health was so intense, AAP, along with the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychology (AACAP), and the Children's Hospital Association (CHA), declared a national state of emergency in children's mental health. In their combined press release, AAP President Lee Savio Beers attested, “Young people have endured so much throughout the pandemic, and while much of the attention is often placed on the physical health consequences, we cannot overlook the escalating mental health crisis.” 

If one thing rings true in Beers’ words, it’s that young people, like much of the world, have endured a lot, and they are all still enduring a lot. 

“When my parents lost their jobs, we all felt uneasy,” Gonzalez recalled as she looked back on the more stressful moments of the pandemic. “Our main source of income had stopped, and nothing was open so I couldn’t get a job. Everything just sort of flatlined.

“We had to live off of what we had saved. It was scary; it felt endless,” she continued. “I was in a really dark place mentally that I’m still struggling to come back from.”

Like Gonzalez, the vast majority of people went through a lot during the pandemic and found it hard to return to business as usual. Quarantine ended as soon as it began, and for people like Stephanie, that was a lot more jarring.

“All of a sudden we were shoved back to normal and everything opened up again,” she said. “I don’t think I had enough time to process everything that happened, everything that’s still happening.” 

The pandemic has been an excruciatingly long, stressful experience. As we hit the two-year mark, it’s a hard process to recover our mental health or regain our social skills. People are tired, and finding it harder and harder to find hope that this will end. Many find themselves battling to stay on top of things, or even to find the motivation to get out of bed in the morning. 

Moving forward, it is important that we acknowledge the emotional impacts of COVID-19. People have survived so much since March 2020, and it started to take a toll on them. As our communities work to remedy the effects of the pandemic, they need to make mental health a priority as well. People will not be able to start healing until they do.